The Way I Loved You

Alyssa Simone, U.S.

There was something so special about the way I loved you.

There was something so special about the way
You could put my
Disheveled head and restless heart
At complete ease,
And that’s saying a lot coming from
An over-worrier, over-thinker, and over-lover.
There was something about your eyes
That twinkled like the stars
On the loneliest of nights,
And the way your slurred words,
Your raspy voice that was hungry for sleep,
Were enough to keep either of us
From hanging up the phone before six o’clock in the morning.
There was something so absolutely astonishing
About the way you let your emotions
Pour from your heart like acrylic paint,
All the joyous yellows juxtaposed with dejected blues
Coming together to create a masterpiece
That belonged in a museum,
And I was lucky enough to get the first glimpse.

There was something so addicting about
Sacrificing every piece of my soul
For someone who refused to even
Break off a sliver for me in return.
I romanticized an unrequited love,
Tried so desperately to convince myself
That one day you’d look into my lost, terrified eyes
And see an entire galaxy of everlasting beauty.

But deep down in my core I knew that
You’d never put me on the same pedestal
That I constructed for you
Or fantasize about the impossible
Just because, if only for a moment,
It helped me forget that every single time you made my heart flutter it didn’t mean anything.
You always did say idealism was nothing more than a soul-crushing destiny after all.
And no matter how badly I wish it weren’t true,
I need to stop making excuses
And so I scream with everything I have left in me until my vocal chords ache with honesty.

There was something so draining about the way I loved you.
Because it’s now crystal clear to me that
There was nothing I could ever say or do
To make me more than just a friend to you.

There was nothing so special about the way I loved you.

Alyssa Simone is a 16 year old girl currently attending Staten Island Technical High School. Ever since she was young, she has had a huge passion for writing poetry. She hopes she can send her readers a message that they are not alone in the heartbreak and sorrow they may encounter during adolescence, and if she can help out just one person with her words, then she will be completely satisfied.