TRUE/FALSE

Natalie Chan, Malaysia

ill remind myself when im looking,

heart cold and bleeding and searching for another.

searching.

you sear your knife into my mouth

the tip sharp, edges blunt.

it's stuck between my teeth.

you twist it like you're digging for a seed.

pry my mouth open like a treasure chest.

the teeth jut out, uneven keys,

playing a melody taped underneath it,

lost with time and with you.

you look for something i don't know i have.

when i buried myself under the sand,

you emerged from the ocean breathing

and lit by the abandoned underbelly

of the sun - red but not yellow,

black but not dark,

you sang to me

with piano keys.

your offbeat ocean song.

i tell you my secrets

because my mouth is clawed wide.

my heart still lies in my lungs.

with every breath i heave a lie

just to see you.

holding my hand.

my fingers trail over your pinkie ring.

i read your name in braille and spit out

two truths, one lie

i love you

i love you

i love you

you ask me to remember you before i

know you. ask me to kiss your skin with

piano teeth and leave my fresh curses

over the curve of your neck.

leave you with a memory you don't have.

i miss and it plays,

blind. a half-miracle, full-lie.

no, i don't know

what's in the chest.

only the waning of foam

crawled higher and tripping down the ravine,

the sick skinship

of worth, to love, to sea.

reach the moon.

you don't care if she's lost in your tides.

they're a gift for you, my love.

whale songs and glass shells and

pink tinted laughter.

not the oil, the knife.

ill remember you, but you won't know.

not me, you won't.

you don't know what lies behind my tongue

besides coal. truth, it's

all I've eaten since the family went, gone.

not-truth, the family, never there.

between your lips you light a match

and make a home inside my mouth.

say you'll love for all the lies I've never told.

lick the decrepit edges like a lover at war,

light my throat with ocean song,

cold, but never lie.

rest,

assured.

ask if I'll tell you more.

i tell you a joke instead.

when you laughed it sounded like

the ringing of church bells.

you choked it out and kissed me like

a mirror.

looking in, looking out.

one truth, one lie.

i know.

i love you.

So do not open the door, no,

You know she stands in the mirror,

A copy of you that others never seem to see.

Keep the cupboard doors shut, the monsters stay within.

Natalie is a sophomore in high school who has a passion for writing, and an unnatural obsession with metaphors. Her favourite poet is Richard Siken and her favourite pasttime involves a good C-drama, her cat, and a sweet Murakami novel.