miserere

Daniel Aôndona, Nigeria

in a nightmare, i watched the holy trinity exit my soul—three quiet flames retreating from a body now confined in debris. i have carried too many atrocities, till my whole has become a wretched city of burning cathedrals, too riotous to be made righteous again. yes i know, i know how i wear these attires—sins like silk knitted of emptiness, imperfections folded beneath the bones. i know i ’m no saint, that i may never walk out of this dark room where the walls breathe guilt, but i do not feign it. i sham myself not in the glories of false hosannas. always, i weigh the weight of my iniquities—hoping to lift them high enough for god to see, to cleanse. yet i know how distanced i have eclipsed myself from his grace—say mercy—say forgiveness—say anything that might sound like rain on this arid earth. this is how i sometimes seek the face of god: in poetry verses. forgive, i say, that poets like me may not find heaven after this futile hymn of metaphors and similes.forgive again, but know—there’s not always light at the end of tunnels. sometimes, a tunnel ends only to gift you another, and another— like a nesting doll of sorrow. i do not know what to name this, so i call it the carnation of catastrophes. they bloom badly—grow worse—become worst— become an expanse homing galaxies of pain.and every galaxy spins like a halo around my head, a vestment of regrets. someday i shall wear them all—these regalia of flaws—like a crown made from thorns and truth, telling the world: this is who i am. this is what i have become. hold—during the past sunday’s sermon, the preacher said, “after death there’ll be life.” but an unnamed spirit voiced to me, “after death is death.”

Daniel Aôndona is an award-winning writer and arts enthusiast from Benue, Central Nigeria. A member of Hilltop Creative Arts Foundation Abuja, Oyongo Collective, and alumnus of Sprinng Writers Fellowship. He serves as a Feature Editor at Pawners Paper and Editor-in-Chief at Words-Empire Magazine. Daniel won the Splendors of Dawn Poetry and Short Story Contest, TLM Arts Fest 0.2 (Spoken Word), and Poetry Is Life Mother’s Love Award (2025), after placing runner-up in 2024. He was also runner-up in the Pengician Chapbook Series 2024 and shortlisted for the 2025 Akachi Chukwuemeka Prize for Literature.