miserere

Daniel Aôndona, Nigeria

in a nightmare, i watched the holy trinity exit my soul—three quiet flames retreating

from a body now confined in debris. i have carried too many atrocities, till my whole

has become a city of cracked bells and burning cathedrals, too riotous to be made

righteous again. yes i know, i know how i wear these attires—sins like silk stitched in

shadows, imperfections folded beneath the bones. i know i ’m no saint, that i may

never walk out of this dark room where the walls breathe guilt, but i do not feign it. i

sham myself not in the glories of false hosannas. always, i weigh the weight of my

iniquities—hoping to lift them high enough for god to see, to cleanse. yet i know how

distanced i have eclipsed myself from his grace—say mercy—say forgiveness—say

anything that might sound like rain on this cracked earth.this is how i sometimes seek

the face of god: in poetry verses. forgive, i say, that poets like me may not find

heaven after this futile hymn of metaphors and similes.forgive again, but

know—there’s not always light at the end of tunnels. sometimes, a tunnel ends only to

gift you another, and another— like a nesting doll of sorrow. i do not know what to

name this, so i call it the carnation of catastrophes. they bloom badly—grow

worse—become worst— become an expanse homing galaxies of pain.and every

galaxy spins like a halo around my head, a vestment of regrets. someday i shall wear

them all—these regalia of flaws—like a crown made from thorns and truth, telling the

world: this is who i am. this is what i have become. hold—during the past sunday’s

sermon, the preacher said, “after death there’ll be life.” but an unnamed spirit voiced

to me, “after death is death.”

Daniel Aôndona is a lover of arts and culture. A versatile, award-winning writer who hails from Benue, Nigeria. Based in Abuja, he is a member of the Hilltop Creative Arts Foundation, an alumni of Sprinng Writers Fellowship, an editor at Pawners Paper, and Words-Empire Magazine. Aôndona is a spoken word artist, essayist, short story writer, reviewer, poet, and literary editor. His works have been featured on notable journals such as: Paper Lanterns, Brittle Paper, The Muse Journal, Poetry Column NND, among others within and outside Nigeria.

You can connect with him on social media: FB: Daniel Aôndona, IG: @aondonadaniel.30, X: @aondonadaniel30